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Originally Posted by GarthB
From what I read, you went from a stare, to lecturing him about his responsibilities in front of his 11 year old players.
Where was the "that's enough, coach"? Or any warning?
I'm not saying bend over and take it, But manage it. If he doesn't respond to an appropriate warning, dump him. He's an assistant, right? But don't lecture him. That's making it personal. Manage him. That's making it professional.
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What Garth said, exactly.
From the very outset, in my plate meeting, I try to establish a clear understanding - without explicitly saying so - that I am approachable and reasonable and mostly unflappable, and all my dealings with game participants will be conducted with courtesy and respect, as long as everyone observes those same rules of the road. I ignore the groans and comments that come from 50% of those present on a close call, and if someone takes that disappointment too far I simply and quickly admonish them to turn the page. "That's enough." "Knock it off." No lectures, no screaming.
With the coach who gave you a double blast from the coach's box, I would probably, if I deemed it to be ignorable, ignore it, and then between innings as he's going back to the dugout I would intercept him and tell him, face-to-face and one-on-one - "Coach, don't yell at me like that from the coach's box. If you have a question come ask it and I'll answer it. But I will not be yelled at."
Game management is the hardest part of the craft. At the highest levels I work, it's still tough and somewhat stressful to have to bring all one's communicative skills to bear to keep these powder kegs from blowing sometimes. The "umpire nazi" is a phase most every umpire goes through, but trust us, there's a more moderate and better nuanced persona that will serve you better.