[drothamel]

My experience has been that 99% of the time, coaches want to be heard, they do not want answers. When they ask questions, they usually have their answer already. What I try to do is find out what that answer is so that they can vent it properly. Example:

Coach: "Why did my kid get called for a block down there?"

At this point, the coach could care less about "legal guarding position," he wants to complain about the call.

Me: "Which play was that coach?"

I just want him to come out and say what he has to say, appropriately.

Coach: "The one a few seconds ago, when white just ran my kid over."

Ta-Da! Coach obviously feels his player was fouled, he disagrees with my judgement. He doesn't want to hear a reason for it.

Me: "We must have seen that one differently coach. I'll make sure to look for it in the future."

Now the coach has gotten out his complaint, he feels better about it, and we can move on with the game.

Of course, you should always pick your spots. Free throws are the best time to make yourself available to coaches, especially if you see one of them stewing on the sidline. Anything you can do to recognize a coach is something positive. If the coach chooses to turn that into a negative situation, then you will have to deal with it; but coaches deserve approachability from officials.