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If fielder was legitimately trying to field the ball, and not just running into the runner to try to draw a call, this is interference. The rules say the runner must avoid ... not attempt to avoid. The only way the play you describe is not interference is on the off chance that it was obvious the fielder was no longer playing the ball, and initiated contact intentionally.
On number two, it's hard to toss a coach for bringing out a rulebook when you actually did botch a call... but yeah - if this guy comes out of the dugout pointing at a rulebook, he's gone.
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"Many baseball fans look upon an umpire as a sort of necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile." - Hall of Fame Pitcher Christy Mathewson
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