[UMP25]

I've worked with partners with big heads before, but this one takes the cake...

A few weeks ago I do a D-III game with a guy who's a D-I umpire (working games for Rich Fetchiet) and reminds everyone of this fact. (Never mind that I don't go around telling people that I do D-I games as well--what's the point?) Disclosure: both my partner and I are CBUA members and work for Fetch, though my schedule severely limits me from doing nearly as many D-I games as regularly as my partner in question.

I'll skip all the irritating stuff he said and did before the game and jump right to what happened (exception: in an Email to me earlier in the day he tells me: "it's a conference game, so I should do the plate." F--- him!)--an incident that I believe would have gotten him fired had Yeast or Fetch seen it. Sadly, the guy was frickin' proud of what he did.

We're in the top of the 9th inning with the home team leading 10-0 (NCAA rules, so no 10-run rule) and one out and no runners on. The second batter comes up and ends up being called out on a check swing by my partner. Did he go? Heck, I'm in the "A" position with a lefty up! Anyway, the head coach for the visiting team--he's coaching third base--starts to ***** about the call. The dugout wasn't happy either, but it was nothing that could have realistically been ignored with 1 out left to go in the game. My partner chirps back, the coach chirps back, then my partner walks toward the coach still squawking to him. My partner yells to him, "Control your dugout!"

So, he gets back behind the plate and the first pitch to the next batter is at the top of his head. No exaggeration. It's up there pure and simple. My partner pauses to call it, turns toward the head coach, looks at him, and bangs, "Strike!" The dugout is yelling and the head coach starts screaming, to which my partner replies, "Control your f-----g dugout or the next pitch will be a strike, too!"

The first base coach turns to me (I'm still in the "A" position, of course) and asks quite emphatically, "Did he just call that pitch a strike intentionally? Did he just call that f-----g pitch a strike?!? What the hell was that?" Having no problem throwing my partner under the bus at this point (many other things occurred prior to this that made me adopt this attitude), I replied, "It appears so, but you'll have to ask HIM to find out."

"What, you guys don't talk to each other?" asks the 1B coach.
"Not after each pitch. Besides, talking to 'Bob' (not his real name) isn't going to help me one bit today," I explain.

Nobody gets ejected, thank God, and the batter hits the next pitch to the infield. It's bobbled, B1 is safe at first but trips over the bag and dislocates his ankle (it was not a pretty site to see--ouch!). The home team trainer comes out to take care of the batter. The head coach comes over, and we're huddled around seeing how the kid's doing. My partner is thankfully back by the plate when the head coach turns to me and asks, "'John,' (not my real name), what the hell was that with that strike? What the hell is he trying to prove?" I replied: "Don't ask me, Eric. I've given up trying to figure out what 'Bob' is doing, and it's no use talking to him. His head's so big he'd never hear me."

Eric shook his head in disgust but understood what I meant. A few minutes later my partner came down to join us and I tried to walk away. After a 20-minute delay that included the arrival of an ambulance, we were done. (BTW, even with the delay, we sailed through 9 in 2:01.)

We're on the way back to the parking lot and 'Bob' pats me on the chest and says, "Hey, how did you like that strike call there in the 9th? That'll serve to teach them, huh? If they'd control their f-----g dugout they wouldn't have this problem."

I shook my head and said, "How did I like it? I didn't. It was bush; it was unprofessional."

And this guy's a regular D-I umpire? In all honestly, if it's guys like this who get such games, there's a serious problem.

In my almost three decades of umpiring, I seriously doubt I have ever witnessed a more unprofessional display of umpiring and arrogance in general.