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Suggestion - any time you issue a warning, write it down on your lineup card (if you are using one), and make sure that it is recorded in a scorebook as well. Now you have the written documentation for the coach.
Don't respond to her "I didn't hear the warning...." crap. Just tell her that the warning was issued, the out stands, let's play ball! It takes two people to have an argument..don't give her the satisfaction.
As far as the coach's comments, antics, and demeanor, I am in 100% agreement with mcrowder...the league administration needs to be aware of this coach's actions.
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It's what you learn after you think you know it all that's important!
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