[greymule]

A few days ago my partner and I were driving up to north Jersey for a college doubleheader when his cell phone rang. The caller was an umpire new to our association, and my partner had assigned him a rec league girls' FP game.

"Hey, I'm here at the field, and I told the coaches that the girls have to take their jewelry off. One team isn't wearing any jewelry, but the coach of the other team says ASA doesn't require all jewelry off. What should I do?"

"What kind of jewelry is it?"

"Earrings, necklaces, bracelets, that kind of stuff."

"Tell him they have to take off their jewelry or they'll forfeit. Do not umpire the game unless they take their jewelry off."

"OK."

A few minutes later, another call came in:

"It worked out great!"

"They took their jewelry off?"

"No, the coach gave me $45 in cash and said that since it was a pre-season game, he would ump it himself. I'm on my way home."