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Here's how I have worked it out philosophically.
The team that's way up gains many advantages -- most of them are legal, but some aren't. Your job is to take away the illegal advantages. The team that's way down is going to do a lot of illegal stuff but it doesn't gain them much advantage, since they are so unskilled. So you call the worst of it, and let the rest go.
I disagree with Hawk's Coach about not fouling girls out, though. The coach I had once in this kind of game who asked me please to call the fouls on her girls even tighter looked at it like this: Here's a chance for my players to practice no-contact-at-all. If they can do it at this level, they'll be more able to move up to the next level and the next. She knew they would win, and wanted the girls to risk a little less contact, to see how to make that work.
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