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I think, unfortunately, that you have to suspend the official. Just as coaches should never be allowed to touch the ref in anger, the ref should never be allowed to touch the coach in anger.
The closest I've come to this situation was last summer at camp when I stepped between an angry coach and the ref he wanted to strangle. He was a good 150 pounds heavier than I was and I had my hands on his chest, trying to keep him away from my partner.
After the game, a clinician (who did not see the incident) told me never to touch the coach. Get out of his way. If you touch him, he can claim anything afterwards.
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Any NCAA rules and interpretations in this post are relevant for men's games only!
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