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I think I got my answer, although indirectly, to part 2 of my question. to phrase it another way, when faced with a partner who provides to a coach a completely erroneous interpretation of the rules (going against black and white rules/case and general practice), how do you handle it if the coach then asks you about it? I know that you must back your partner on judgment calls, but how about this situation? Avoid answering by saying the call can't be changed? Ignore the question? Answer truthfully and undermine your partner's interp? I am not asking this as if I have the answer, cause I don't!
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