John -
This is not an obscure rule. And it is a situation that pops up quite a bit. The refs should have known it. A ref should never guess and I think these refs were guessing. Rather than admit they weren't sure and lose credibility they gave you a resounding confident answer. You are darn tootin who shoots the Ts could affect the outcome. I know it is only 6th grade but the rule is there for a reason. Ts are meant to cause harm to the offending team - best shooter at the line. And I don't think it is unreasonable for you to ask in a polite manner to check the rules on that one.
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