[ditttoo]

Know the situation well. One of my CURRENT ref buddies is a JH coach and I recently got "the stare" during a time out followed by a loud quip of "guess we'll talk about in-bounding the ball violations at our meeting this week". He got his point across to everyone in the gym. I went over to get them out of the huddle and quietly informed him that if he pulled "referee" on me again we would also discuss Technical fouls during the meeting. Got a quick apology, smile and a chuckle. He loses by 4 (first loss of the year) and tells me he "got caught up in the game".

I was a bit impressed that he didn't continue on with "an attitude" but checked himself with just a gentle reminder.

As refs, we keep wishing that "coaches would learn the rules" and "see things from our point of view" yet when they do (former refs) we hold that against them, too. If I know I have a former or current ref on the bench that night, I'm a bit more "aware" of the situation but will not allow any "referee" stuff coming from the bench; especially when the ref reference is made to the whole gym. If the coach/ref wants to talk - I listen. If the behavior is such that the purpose is to embarras or draw unnecessary attention especially using the "I'm a ref card", then first I talk and then he/she sits following the T.