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I'm gonna play Devil Advocate and say you don't need to change much. My view of approachability is not about demeanor but about reaction. You can look intense and stern, but it's when someone asks you a question or makes a small complaint that approachability comes into play. If you allow petty complaints not to get to you, answer questions and explain things fully, there's no need for you to be yuking it up with the players. I seriously doubt there isn't a place in a community for "that ref who always looks really mean but actually doesn't overreact." I know plenty of officials who look like they're having fun, and are very relaxed, but throw T's and refuse to answer questions after the first sign of dissent.
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