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Do you watch yourself on tape? If not, get taped, sit down with your wife and that friend and ask them to point out instances where you look "serious" and unapproachable. There are probably small things you can change that will improve the situation. For example, do you smile? Do you stand with your arms folded? Do you unconsciously scowl when somebody looks your way or asks a question? Are there mannerisms that might need some softening? Seeing yourself on tape can often help you see what they're seeing.
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"It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and then do your best." - W. Edwards Deming
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