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JAR -- The wording is, "It's her game, and her call. You'll have to ask her." Or, as another person said, "I don't comment on another refs' games. I'm just here as a fan today." Yes, it's the same as saying nothing, but doing it in a polite way.
This isn't the same as supporting a ref when she's right, and the fans are angry. In that case, you're not commenting on the games, you're commenting on the fans, and their ignorance.
If you're being asked to comment on both right and wrong things that the same ref does, you just back out of the situation entirely by saying, "My neighbor is playing in this game, so I'm not really watching the refs." or "I'm working on learning his mechanics, so I didn't see the play" or something vague like that. If worse comes to worse, go sit somewhere else.
I'm telling you these things, because they are things refs did in the stands when I was the one on the floor who was out of line. I felt supported and relaxed and willing to learn and change when my fellow refs were on my side, and not letting me being bumped. The times I've had other refs attacking me or helping others attack, I've been completely devastated. No matter how wrong another ref is, you don't want to contribute to that kind of stuff. You never know when it might be you taking the hits.
If you really want to rag on someone, rag on Billy Packer, or Bill Walton. You can say to the parent, "Is that the interp you heard from Billy Packer on TV? Because that guy doesn't know the top of his head from a bowling ball. You can't trust anything he says about rules. And I'd think coaches wouldn't like him either. So often he'll criticize a play, just as the kid is breaking free for an easy lay-up...." and then walk off. This helps refs in two ways. It deflects criticism from the ref on the floor, and it also gives those fans the idea that Billy Packer may not be the expert that he makes himself out to be. Neither thing is bad.
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