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I think a lot of people would agree that there are several things that coaches want/expect from officials (being a former college asst. coach at D3 and D1 schools - I have a little insight on this). In general, coaches want: good judgement, consistent calls, to know that officials are listening to them, and communication.
If a coach asks you to "watch #24 - he's holding", acknowledge it. A specific request like that is probably accurate (remember I said "probably"). My best advice when a coach continues to harp on a specific foul/violation is to say that "Coach, your getting a consistent game from this crew. That hasn't been called a foul/violation tonight". Focus on the good job the crew is doing instead of hinting that everyone is fouling on the floor and you're not going to do anything about it.
I agree with Chuck, on his "Big Deal" theory. I won't call a handcheck foul when the dribbler is going east-wide; when the dribbler goes north-south then I call it. That works for me.
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