|
Chess --
I'm writing a series on this subject for the paid side, but I"ll just give a little summary.
First and foremost, get your own attitude under control. It can be the most difficult part of the learning process, but nothing else happens until you take this step.
1. Don't go in expecting a fight, but do be prepared for one. I mean, try to keep things civil, but don't despair if it doesn't work.
2. Think of the coaches position -- he has no clue, and has 20 sets of parents nagging him. players who won't do what he tells them, pressure from the varsity coach to turn out better players, and no rewards to speak of except winning if he's lucky. When his players get good enough, they move up.
3. It helped me to think of the coach as a 7-year-old. You've got to give clear limits, but in positive ways. Even when he gets testy, you've got to rise above it. Give him the time-out when he needs it, but don't get emotional.
4. Don't "explain" anything. If the coach asks a reasonable question, answer it politely and briefly. Never, never quarrel. "Coach she pushed her in the back" "the travel came first" " it was an illegal screen, coach"
5. Use these very safe and effective comments early on when the coach is chirping. "Thank you." "I'll wathc for it" "I hear you."
6. Be very confident, and appear very confident, all the time. You might want to ask an evaluator to watch and see what you can do to make your appearance more calm and quiet. I've been amazed how a few little steps have helped tremendously in this area.
7. Don't hesitate to warn, but don't be too quick, either.
8. T when necessary. Resign yourself to going through a stage (emphasis on "through") when you give too many T's. It will feel icky in some ways, but it can be a valuable learning stage.
9. Hang around with refs that have great coach relationships. Watch and listen. keep asking. Keep digesting.
10. When all else fails, do what mick said and take off a few days. adjust your perspective that way.
DOn't forget that coaches get better and worse the higher you get. You just have to keep putting new tools in your box, so that you can move up, too.
|