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Old Fri Dec 23, 2005, 02:07pm
rainmaker rainmaker is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by BktBallRef
Every time someone offers a reason for the rule, he's arguing the point. He's not looking to understand it IMHO.
Tony, for some of us, arguing is a path to understanding. I'm sympathizing because I'm totally and completely like this. (See? I'm doing it right now!) I think from reading between the lines just a little, that "blewthat" thinks in ways similar to me. I'm not saying it's a good thing, because sometimes it's not. But I think he's not just arguing out of a childish determination to get his own way, but just out of a sort of natural tendency to use argument as a tool. For many people (including my highly intelligent, sensitive and committed husband, who gets exhausted with my eternal arguments), this is very difficult to get past. It feels like the arguer is constantly on the defensive, or on the offensive!. It feels like constant war. BT and I need to learn how to temper our "explorations" so that we dont come across as aggressive or self-absorbed. But our "arguee's" need to know that it's not just hostility. We are trying to learn and grow. Just not always doing it in the most helpful way.
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