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It's probable that the ref is fairly new and just hasn't got the details ironed out yet. It was smart of you to be polite, and to not argue much. If possible, you should carry a rule book with you, so that you can politely ask the ref for a reference. You ought to wait until half time to do this so he doesn't feel like he's being put on the spot. It's also possible that it didn't sound to him like what you were saying was coaching. Perhaps he thought you were trying to instruct him. I've had games where the asst coach was yelling "Three!! Three!!" and I couldn't tell if that was a play, or whether he thought I should be calling three seconds.
In the future, if this happens again, you can instruct your players to run to the sidelines during dead balls, and give them their instructions quietly. I know this isn't as good, but it would be better than getting a T from a green ref who just doesn't know any better.
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