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What a subject! I'm not what you might call "good looking". I never thought of wearing a mask while officating but it might help? Hmmmmmmm......what would I wear? I know! The "Phantom of the Opera"......
As I approach the Table...I'd break out into an Andrew Lyold Webber song:
The Music of the Night....."Tweet".
My calls will heighten the Coach's indigestion,
I don't know the Rules, I just use my imagination,
In 5th Grade games, I call every single violation.
My "3 Seconds Call" unfurls in its true splendour,
Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender,
Turn your face away from the garish of the scoreboard,
Turn your face away from the cold, unfeeling light,
And listen to the Music of the Night......"Tweet".
Close you eyes and surrender your Coaches Box,
Leave all thoughts of a victory you knew before,
Close your eyes, let your Airborne Shooter soar,
And he'll get decked on the maple hardwood floor.
Your center, floating, falling, sweet intoxication,
There's a "No Call", you go into hyperventilation.
Let the dream begin, let my darker side give in,
To the harmony which the NFHS alone can write,
The power of the Music of the Night......"Tweet".
Your Assistant Coach just said "I BITE",
Help me make the Music of the Night....."Tweet".
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