[RPatrino]

I once heard someone say, "an assistant coach's job is to stand at first and tell runners when to turn left".

They occassionally hand me new baseballs, but rarely bring water. Beyond the exchange of social pleasantries, they do not get spoken to. Assistants do not get to run out on the field to discuss anything.

Except, of course, when the head coach has been ejected.

I had a humorous ejection during a Pony game. During the pre-game the Manager of Team A proudly proclaims that he got to watch the "Jim Evans Balk Video" (thats what he called it). I said to my partner after the Managers left the plate area, "this will be fun".

First inning, Team B gets a lead-off runner on first. Team A righty pitcher looks to his Manager(his dad, I later found out)and they both are smiling like Chesire cats. (Jim Evans Balk video has that affect on people). Pitcher proudly places his lead foot directly on the imaginary 45 degree line. He then proceeds to confidently turn his hips, without a step, and throw to first. "THATS A BALK!" I (in B) yell (grinning like a Chesire cat), "you Second" to the runner.

Now, let the games begin. My partner is looking for a kleenex or a napkin or something to dry his eyes, because he's laughing and trying not to let anyone see. I am glued in the spot I was during the call, expecting the Manager to meet me (I do not walk to talk). The manager runs out yelling "Thats not a BALK!!" repeatedly, but for some reason this manager walks to the foul line and stops (Little League phenomenon I suspect), and proceeds to demand my meeting him there. I calmly beckon him to join me in B. He is dancing in his shoes, much like a child who has to visit the bathroom, he is coming out of his skin. I love it. He sprints to where I am and proceeds to start jumping and waving his hands and yelling, "you can't call that, you don't know what you are doing,you are awful". Well, he said "you" one too many times and is becoming a nuisance, so I EJ him".

I then add, "Coach, the pitcher must step to the base he's throwing to". "Did you watch the whole tape?", His response, "NO".

BOB