[tomegun]

I will not talk about the specifics of my situation, but Rut is right about how it feels. It can be described as close, closer and closest; being closer is better than being close.
This IS one subject where not only does your region make a difference, but also leagues in the same region are different. Things are ran differently on the West Coast than they are on the East Coast; each with their own pros and cons.
Also, the higher you go the less you have to pay. The money most JUCO and D2 assigners require isn't there. Most big conferences have money for training and other things. They do not require the "registration" fee.
My number one problem has been, and will be for three more years, I'm in a job situation that forces me to move. My windows of opportunity have been small and this is a business where we often have to be in it for the long haul. I will come clean and say I have probably been the least excited about this season than ever before because of some major let downs. I'm not even talking about on the D1 level either. It is very frustrating to go to a camp, get a great written evaluation and then nothing happens for you although it happens for someone else who wasn't even at the camp! I don't know what the future will hold but I maintain my opinion that I've had from day one: I want to be good. I know I'm not a politician to the extent where I will get somewhere I shouldn't be. I do play the game, but for me what some might call the game is simply manners and respect for other human beings. The bigger payoff is this set of values leaves a trail of friends or at least good associates. We have to face facts, for every one official that makes it, whether they deserve it or not, there is probably 20 guys that are better for that one spot. Sometimes the good guys and best officials just don't make it, frustrating as it may be.
One of my best friends is also one of the best officials I've ever personally met. He works in the CBA and another small D1 conference. He just hasn't got that one break, BUT he can flat out blow the whistle. There is another guy from Vegas that many have considered the most naturally gifted official they have seen. He doesn't have the drive and/or things weren't really right in his life off the court so he didn't make it to the D1 level.
Like I said, this is a funny game. I don't think either side would be right or wrong in this situation.

I had no intention of making this post this long. I guess once I started some things just came out. I'm happy to say, I'm back to where I need to be mentally and I'm ready to go. My goal is the same it always is: perfection. Although I will probably never get there, making it a goal will force my to keep pushing.