Too often have I seen a player camping in the lane way outside - there is no call - and then that player gets a rebound he was not entitled to, or receives a dish off pass and has great position to go to the basket.
I'm not sure what you mean by "way outside" but there is no 3-seconds after the ball leaves a player's hands on a try, so what difference does it make?
Call it properly according to the rule the first time it happens and by the third or fourth time you call it, they will get the message and you won't have to make judgement calls all night as to whether a player "is involved in the play" or not - because just when you think he is not - he is.
Three seconds is the right call in many instances. However, when a trap is set at half court and there is a post player "in the lane" it is NOT a good call. That sort of play is what others are talking about -- something that is outside the spirit and intent of the rule.
BTW, how many multiple fouls did you call last season? 