Quote:
Originally posted by just another ref
At a local jr high, the girls team is coached by a husband and wife team. The wife is a teacher at the school and her husband is a volunteer, but he does most of the coaching. I have known these people as friendly acquaintances for several years, our kids have played ball together, but that was about the size of it. Last week early in a game, I hear the guy say "You can't call the game this way just because you hate me." I thought I had heard wrong, but he said it again. During the second quarter, I was at the table and he was six feet away, and he said pretty much the same thing. I was stunned, and said the first thing that came to mind. "______, if you wouldn't talk so much, maybe we'd all like you better."
In retrospect, not the most professional choice of words, but I was trying to keep it light and at the same time tell him I had heard enough. He continued to mumble about the calling throughout the game: "...no, he's not gonna call that for us...."etc. After the game he came to me out on the court, I was going to stay away from him. "It's not fair to the kids for you to call this way just because you hate me." I was somewhat annoyed by now, but thought I used some restraint and said, "You flatter yourself if you think I called anything because of YOU. If you feel this way maybe you should stay home next time and everybody would be happier."
Am I waaaay out of line? How would others have handled this situation?
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I rhink what you said is a reasonable analysis of the situation, but I doubt that saying it out loud helped the situation. It sounds as though he heard someone recommend this as a way to "work the ref" and he's just trying it on for size.
During the game, right after he says it, say, "Coach regardless of your and my relationship, she whacked her good on the arm. That's always a foul." Or the traditional, "Are you accusing me of cheating?"
After the game, when he approached you, you might have said, "Is this something we're going to talk about, and come to an understanding? Or are you just jerking my chain (with a little smile)?" Or something else that indicates that you, in fact, don't hate him. Or if you want to just jump in feet first, "What makes you think I hate you?"
In any event, I'd put him on the "no" list with the assignor. They don't pay enough to put up with this kind of garbage.