[drothamel]

Back to the post that started this thread for a moment:

When the coach says, "What do we need to do to get a charge," try the relpy, "What do you mean, coach?" Resist the temptation to answer his question outright. It is obvious that he is frustrated, but his question tells you little more than that. By asking him what he means, he will say something like, "my players are stationary," or "my players are getting there in time," or "you guys are screwing me." Respond accordingly.

Asking a coach what he or she means by a comment can do a number of things for you, 1) You really do find out what the coach actually means. Now you can respond accordingly and hopefully prevent the coach from getting more agitated. 2) It shows the coach that you are listening AND paying attention. 3) If you do have to whack the coach, it will be because of what the coach said to you in response to a simple question. That makes your whack much easier to justify on the incident report after the game.
4) Sometimes, it takes so much time for the coach to respond that the play has continued on, and you can move on.

This was something that I heard retired NBA referee Nolan Fine talk about. I started to use it, especially on my favorite coach's comment/question-- "How come they have 1 foul, and we have 6?" and it has worked very well.