All the advice in the above posts is very good. I would add only two concepts you must master in order to become a good official. Both come from long-time high level official Ed Hightower.
1) The purpose of a technical is to stop bad behavior. If you can stop the bad behavior without calling the technical, you're just that much ahead.
2) Be in control of the game without controlling the game.
The first is easy to understand, although it may not be quite so easy to implement. It emcompasses establishing respect from coaches and players so they know that when you explain calls and give warnings, they are justified. It also includes the concept of preventive officiating.
The second is an esoteric statement that speaks to attitude, demeanor and image. It only will happen with experience. As a new official, resist the temptation to become "whistle heavy". This is a term derived from the law enforcement term "badge heavy". Simply put, it means don't get caught up in the heady feeling of now having total authority and exercising it at every opportunity. You are not getting paid "by the whistle" and your job is not to interrupt play as many times as possible just because you "can" and want to let everyone know you are out there and are one of only two (or sometimes three) persons on the face of the earth who can make calls in this game.
Actually, your job is to make sure the team that plays the best - wins. But that's another thread.
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Yom HaShoah
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