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After reading 6 pages of this, I am amazed at your case David and I see no logic in it. Numerous referees who have years of experience and have spent collectively several thousands of dollars on camps and clinics to further understand the rules, mechanics and nuances of the game, have told you that in no way is this act a Technical foul by any definition or interp of the rule and case book. Then to follow-up with they are all high and mighty and don't admit when they make a bad call is ludicrous. If you read through the thousands of threads on this board, I bet you will find a post from just about all of them that says basically, "Wow... I kicked one but good in a game I had last night!". As a coach (read: educator), I find your propensity for generalizations a bit scary.
Quite simply put, this is why this situation is not a "T" and never will be:
Coaches from the top levels down teach their players to communicate loudly with each other especially on defense. Call out picks, call out cutters, call out post settings, call out defensive sets, etc, etc. I work an NBA team's scrimmages on occasion where I live and I can't tell you how many times this NBA coach has stopped the scrimmage in mid-set to ream out a player for not communicating something defensively.
Specific to your situation, the coach wants the defender on ball to communicate to his/her teammates that s/he is on ball and they do this loudly to ensure the teammate hear it. Similarly, if the player picks up the ball and does not have a dribble you will hear, "DEAD, DEAD, DEAD" or something similar. Additionally, most coaches want the defender up tight on his/her opponent. This makes the offensive player uncomfortable (if done right) just by the fact that s/he is in their space. It makes post entries difficult and has a tendency to rattle some players. Now the fact that they are taught to play close defensively and loudly communicate with their teammates by yelling ball, ball, ball or something similar does not warrant a T by any stretch. If the yelling also, contributes the rattling of the player, well then the other coach needs to toughen his players up a bit.
Conversely, if the defensive player is up tight yelling "YOU SUCK, YOU SUCK"... well then we have an usporting T and something to talk about.
See the difference?
For the record, I have no problem, telling a coach that I missed one, when I know for a fact I booted it. Sometimes its not right away, because it does not make sense to approach an angry lion, but once he has simmered down a bit, during a FT or the like, I will slide on over to him, and tell him what I thought of that previous call.
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