The last patent leathers I had were: white loafers, black alligator loafers, and beige loafers. Man, they looked great with my leisure suits, too. I was also really skinny back then! I know many of you guys love the patents, but I can't do it. Every time I see patent leather I remember how long it's been since I wore them... and it makes me feel old!
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 That's my whistle -- and I'm sticking to it!
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