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If you show a coach that you won't be intimidated early, he won't give you too many problems.
Matt, you don't have to be a hothead to run somebody. There are limits to whats acceptable behavior. Usually a comment like "Coach, are you arguing balls and strikes?" or "Your not going to come out here and argue that judgement call are you coach?" can work wonders. Coaches eventually learn what they can and can't get away with. Once you bounce a coach once or twice, they start to be more docile with you.
A quick story, a couple of years ago, when I was working youth ball, my assignor asked me to do a FP softball game. I knew why he wanted me to do it, a coach was being a problem. In that season, I handed out roughly 6 or 7 ejs (2 in one game) through the little league and pony league schedule. The coach for this FP game had been beligerent, rude, and demeaning to both umpires that has worked his game so far. I got to the field, he come up, introduced himself to me, and when I told him my name, he got this strange look on his face, and went back to the dugout. I didn't hear a word from him the entire game. Maybe I called a really good game, but I think that my reputation for that league preceeded me.
A good rule of thumb : if after the game, you think to yourself, damn, I should have launched that guy, you probably should have.
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Allen
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