I can't say that I have had much success with such senarios.... One memorable moment came when Team A was ahead by some 40 points and still in the first half.
I stopped the game, and as I approached A's bench,I asked A's coach to come out onto the floor, out of earshot of his bench, players, and fans and said politely.. "Coach, I know it's none of my business but with the lead you have, don't you think you could pull your press off?" The coach said, "Your right ref.... It's none of your business." So I used Tim's approach.
In my profession, I deal with people from 13 to 70+, the rich, the poor, those that think they're God's gift to the world, and those trying to find their way up from the bottom of barrels. Communication is the key... and ya need a different key for everyone. I just don't have all the keys yet. But I'm still looking!
Chuck