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Stop me if you have heard this one...A veteran official, who has about 50 years officiating(ouch..), once told me he uses this in his pregame conference with the captains...
Q: Why do officials officiate?
A: Because they can't play
Q; Why do players play?
A: Because they can't officiate
Q: Why do coaches coach?
A: Because they can neither play nor officiate...
(lol)
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