Stole this (slightly edited) from the baseball board. You might find it helpful.
Membership requirements to the Geezer club:
Hiking ones Fechheimers above the navel.
Starting your rules or mechanics discussions with "when I was your age" can't hurt.
Not being able to tell if you shined your shoes once you've put them on is a good start.
Bonus for extra hair in extraordinary places.
You walk like Walter Brennan.
You know who Walter Brennan was.
Your white cane is made by Honigs.
All aboard for Coot Town, Curmudgeon, and Geezerville!
As an added bonus you'll recieve +POS suspenders with your approved membership.