Quote:
Originally posted by robinson31ir
I had two middle school games yesterday and my partner never showed...i called him...he says "they took me off the schedule, i dont have the game"...so, i called the assigner and i get his voicemail...now, i played college basketball and i kno the game but, this is my first year in the association...i prayed before the game and got myself focused. the girls game was great! its went smooth, the coaches behaved and i felt confident.
Before 2nd game the guys coach came over to conversate...seemed very nice, told me i looked really familiar and realized that i played college ball..told me congrads...seemed really cool..game started, first 3 quarters went smooth...but, throughout the whole game the coach that was "all in my face" before the game was the main one riding me all throughout the whole game...coming to me during every timeouts...asking me to watch for certain things...and i just kept my conposure and stay confident but, him and his assistant really were distracting me...and mind u, im the only one out there...the opposing team was waaaaayyyy more athletic and blew the team out anyway..i was wondering in the event that im put in this situation again...what should i do differently...i was really frustrated! 
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That conversation before the game is called, "Working the ref." The problem with it is that it works. Once he's told you what a great player you were, and how cool it is to have you here, he's in your head. You've lost before you started. I'm not saying this to be harsh, but to show you how to do it differently next time. As soon as he starts in on something different from the game at hand, you need to get busy with the book, a questionable uniform, or finding a game ball.
Then during the game, as others have said, you're too busy to talk. He can ask a question or two if he does it politely and at a dead ball. Otherwise, you've got more important things to worry about. You listen once, acknowledge (I heard you coach), listen again, then start into The Sequence. "I heard you, coach", "that's enough, coach", Stop Sign, Whack! This is for complaints and howliing. If it's just the standard coach stuff, ignore 90% of it. Acknowledge legitimate concerns, politely expressed.
Whatever you do, don't let him into your head. YOU are the ref, not him. I'm saying all this from hard experience. It's been the most difficult lesson for me to learn. Now that it's starting to gel for me, maybe I can help you learn it a little faster.