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I've only been at this a few years, but I got some advice that I tend to agree with on this topic at an association meeting. I know it's been said here before, but the simpler the better as far as I'm concernced.
The basic rule I was taught to use is the direction of the profanity. Player curses because he drops a pass. OK (Unless he is very loud with it).
Player directs his profanity at the other team or one of its coaches or players, flag it.
I know this may be a simplification and there is a lot of grey area, but this is the rule of thumb I go by.
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