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Hindsight is always 20-20. That is what we also call experitence. Learn from it and be a better prepared if it happens again.
The information about the accident and a killed player is something I would have talked about during my pregame. When I talk about coach/team tendencies I try to get a feel for what type of game to expect before I walk out onto the court. In this case, I would have expected a very emotional game.
And that's what you got from beginning to end. At some point prior to the 4th quarter, the coach should have been warned. I would not let his behavior continue that long.
I still think you did the right thing by not giving him a T during pre-game.
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