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Welcome to the forum Kenny!
It takes a while, but eventually every official realizes that the "dreaded T" is just another type of foul, predicated primarily by either administrative or conduct issues. Use preventive officiating techniques to try to minimize the potential, but don't be afraid to call it when the conditions warrant.
I also officiate both volleyball and basketball. If during a match a volleyball coach had directed the same remark towards you, what would your response have been? For me, it would be an instant red card. Although they would like to think otherwise, the allowable conduct for basketball coaches isn't any different than for other sports. Try to catch it early with a warning, but if it continues, penalize.
On the other incident with the "F-bomb", was it simply said out of frustration, or directed specifically at you? In the first case, it's definitely a T, but if directed specifically at the official I'd strongly consider making it a flagrant T & sending him packing. Just my $0.02
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