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The only time I've T'd a coach off the bench was when he was purposefully ignoring my 'firm but polite' insistence that he sit down and follow the bench decorum rule. When he completely blew me off, and was up arguing a call, he earned himself a technical. The coach of the other team follows the same rules and expects them to be enforced.
We simply don't have all the facts unless we ourselves are there to see what happened.
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