I definitely disagree with the idea that tossing the ball to the ref is an automatic violation. This happens quite often at that age level, I have found. When they have the ball out of bounds after a made basket, they can dance the jig for five seconds, I could care less what they do as long as the ball is still out of bounds. I usually just swat the ball back toward them without catching it or if it is close to them and they have just dropped it towards me, I will just let it go and give them a raised eyebrow look that lets them know it is theirs to get. I have not had one single murmur out of a coach or fan about handling this common situation like this.
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