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I agree that professionalism means different things to different people. I think each of us has to figure out what it means for us, and commit to being disciplined about being true to that meaning.
For me, being "professional," in the context of high school basketball officiating, means something like the following:
~ I will be reliable (fulfill assignments I take, even if better ones are later offered; be on time; etc.)
~ I will be prepared, mentally and physically (know the rules; proper frame of mind; in shape; etc.)
~ I will strive to not only be, but appear to be, neutral (no glad handing with coaches, fans, etc., but be gracious and polite when approached)
~ I will maintain my composure at all times and under all circumstances
~ I will be eager to learn more and be better
I'm guessing that I'll later wish I had included other things, but those are what come to me right now. As for what I do when I come across other officials who do not share my view of professionalism ... I think you simply need to maintain your own professionalism, regardless of what your partner is doing. Having said that, I also think it is important to appear to be a part of an officiating team, so NOT doing things that accentuate the differences between you and your partner are important, as long as you are not doing things to compromise your own professionalism.
Thanks, Indy_Ref, for reminding me to think about this.
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