I agree that you should ask the ref at the next dead ball or call a timeout and talk with the ref in a respectful manner.
I became a licensed official ( in part ) due to these type of situations. I was coaching our 5th grade girls team a couple of years ago when an official did not apply the rules correctly. One of our players fouled an opposing player while they were in the act of shooting. The official indicated that the player was fouled in the act of shooting and there would be 2 FT administered. The player shot the first FT and it did not hit anything so the official blows his whistle and gives us the ball. The opposing coach calls the official over and ask him what the call was and he said that it was a new rule from the state. The coach ( very nicely ) said that he had never heard of it and called me over to the conversation . I told the official that I thought that this was incorrect and only applied to a bonus situation and that the girl should get a second FT . He disagreed and called it that way the whole game. I never let my girls know about the problem and just had them concentrate on playing the game. This was a 4,5,6 grade tournament and game management could not be found. I found later that game management was contacted and the official was told of the proper ruling by a licensed official .
I really just concentrate on coaching the kids unless there is a rule that is not being applied correctly . I then ask the official during a timeout or a deadball to explain what they called . I try to do this as discretely as possible as to not get the crowd or my kids involved. I don't question any judgement calls and let the kids play.
Probably more than 2 cents worth .
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