[JugglingReferee]

Barry the BALCO man
Had a secret in his soul
With a jar of cream
And a jar of clean
And two arms made out of "flaxseed oil"

Barry the BALCO man
Is a fairy tale they say
He was made of muscle
But the scientists tussle
'Bout how he came to life one day

There must have been some magic
In that jar of cream they found
For when he placed it on his arms
He jerked fastballs to Puget Sound

Barry the BALCO man
Was alive and he could talk
And the scouts all say
He could swing and play
Just like the Incredible Hulk

Barry the BALCO man
Knew the grand jury was in that day
So he said let's go
I'll say I don't know
Now before I melt away

Down to the village
With a protein shake in his hand
Running here and there all around the square
Saying catch me if you can

He led them down the streets of town
Right past the steroids cop
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler Stop!

Barry the BALCO man
Had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye
Saying don't you cry
I'll put the next pitch in the Bay

Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Look at Barry go!

Thumpety thump thump
Thumpety thump thump
Watch that forehead grow!