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Welcome,
Define moving? The defense can move and still take a charge, as long as they are not moving TOWARD the opponent at the point of contact.
You should help your partner, and that can include throwing a T, but sometimes it is best to get with your partner at some point and let him get his "self esteem" back by whacking the coach himself.
You should avoid using any, "Do this or else," comments when dealing with a coach. You want to set your boundary without the personal challenge.
Imagine where you'd be if you said, " I don't want to hear another word out of you coach, or it's a T," and they say, "You're right, I'm sorry." Now you either need to T them for an apology, or lose your credibility when it comes to your boundaries.
My last advice is to write down EVERYTHING that happened, and be as detailed as possible. Have your partner for the game do the same. If there was someone taping the game, that would not hurt either. Take all of that with you when you meet with your assignor.
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