Quote:
Originally posted by blindzebra
Juulie, I'm aware that I have not lived every aspect of my life where race may be an issue.
This debate has a racial aspect, but the main issue is are we supporting are partner by setting this player straight?
If I'm the white guy, I can't just wait and call some close ones on them and sit them down, to make a point that what they said was wrong.
As a woman, which way do you handle the "she's just a woman ref" issue? Do you do nothing to set them straight when the comment is made, only to call some boarderline fouls on them hoping to make your point, or do you take care of business?
To put it into context for the first post, how do you want your partner to handle it?
For me it's simple, we are a team. I'd have Rut's back, I'd have your back, I'd even have JR's back. 
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How to handle the kind of insinuation that Dan described varies from situation to situation. You're right that it's an issue for both the person to whom it's addressed, and for the partner. Dan's response was masterful and worked well. In a different setting, Jeff would have a different management style that would do just fine. Both would agree that the details aren't the point. Each situation has to be handled as seems best at that time.
When people imply that "I'm just a woman" I usually just shrug. I still have the authority in that game, and they still have to do what I say. So let 'em complain. Until they get to the vulgarities or profanities, then it's just a T. If they say something directly, I say, "Well, do you have any women teachers? Do you have a mother? Do you respect and obey them?" Or if they complain, as one did, "This isn't girls' ball!" I say, "No, it's not!" or "I noticed!" And in fact, those same kinds of tactics work well for me in race issues. But that's just me.
The point I was trying to make in my previous post, is that the prejudice that you or I may feel as whites is real and needs to be recognized and addressed. But it's not the same as what any black person feels. And it never will be.