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If I'm having a problem with a spectator, I'll take an official's timeout, bring the coach out to the numbers with our backs to the sideline, and in a low voice explain to him that either he or the game administration gets the parent under control, or that I'm about two more comments from declaring a forfeit and leaving the field.
Conversely, I try at every game to go to one sideline at halftime, and give my official's-needed recruitment speech: "Parents, its a great game, isn't it? Every year there is a nationwide shortage of youth sports officials, and here in ___ county, a shortage of youth football officials. If you've ever thought about getting involved in supporting a game we all love, please consider becoming an official next year. You won't make much money, but -- unlike golf -- officiating is a hobby with a positive income flow. Free training classes are provided, and both men and women can officiate, so team moms don't tell me you can't do it. Seven years ago I was a parent on a sideline, holding the chains. Five years ago I started as a youth football official, and last year I became a high school official. It's a good way to stay in shape, and most importantly to give something back to a game we all love. Let's keep this great American game going for the kids we have now, and the adults that they will become." Invariably someone will ask for the local official's group web site or a phone number.
Finally, a lot can be headed off in the pre-game talk with the coach. After the standard legally-equipped and any-trick-plays questions, I tell the coach that "there are two groups of adults that really count out here today, my officiating crew and your coaching staff. If we treat each other with professional respect, it will catch on with the kids and with the parents. If I or my crew make mistakes, take a time-out and talk to me. We can discuss rule interpretation and application. (We wont' quibble over what I or my official saw; that's non-negoioable.) We certainly won't yell at you or your staff if your team makes a mistake; please don't yell at my crew. Do you have any questions for me before we call for captains? It should a great game today, and hopefully when its over every player will had a great time, your team will have learned something about themselves through this game, and when its all over nobody even realizes that the officials were here."
Finally (since you hit my hot button and got me started) if I'm having a problem with kids helping us with making calls on the field, I'll tell them to "play, coach or ref. You only get to do one today; which one will it be?"
Hence the screenname.
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