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I totally agree with Chuck, in any type of a game you must enforce sportsmanship/bench decorum rules. It doesn't matter if you have the thickest skin in the world, you're still giving license to the players/coaches to break the rules and you're making it much more difficult for the next guy who has to come in there next week. It took me a couple years to realize it, but there is no matter of pride in how much abuse you can take, the rules exist for a reason and should be enforced accordingly and the more abuse you allow, the more will come, and the more you think about/regret not giving the T, the more likely you should have whacked 'em.
As for the gratitude factor, there is none in officiating (except usually by the winning team) and you shouldn't expect it just because you're not getting paid or because you're alone (they don't care). One of the worst coaches I had was in a game where I volunteered to hang around the gym to help a buddy work a JH game when his partner didn't show up. They don't care if you're working alone, or for free, they expect their version of perfection.
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