If the blockee drives the blocker back, I'll let the grasp of the jersey go. If the blockee tries to shake the blocker off, and the blocker continues to grasp the jersey, and if I feel an unfair advantage has been gained I'll flag holding.
Referee Magazine last year had an article about waiting to see the entire play before you toss your flag. Even if you see a hold, did it effect the play? Was the play going away from the hold? Was the hold 10 yards away from the QB one second before the QB threw the pass, and the defender held would not have had a chance to get to the QB? Article said those plays are examples where an official should keep his flag in his pocket.
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