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Okay, time for some levity (and I promise I will not use the term "fecal matter" beyond this).
I was asked to work a Legion Baseball Tournament in another state. (I travel a lot for work, so I've got good connections.) The semifinal round comes about and the crew is gathered for the pregame. I've never worked with these guys before, but they seem nice and are really thorough. I'm working third and as we get ready to head to the field, the first base ump asks me to help him carry the Plate umps cooler to the field. I just about fell over. First, why are we carrying it? Second, it was a thirty gallon cooler! I bit my tongue and helped him lug this thing, wondering if a body was inside. We get to the field and he puts it DIRECTLY behind the dish against the back stop. I ask him if he's worried about a passe ball and he says, "Nope, that's where the shade is." The game went on and this guy hit his cooler every inning. In the third, he pulled out a sandwich and ate it! In the fifth, the first base guy came in and they both ate frozen candybars. The coaches just smiled and said that the old timer on the dish had been doing that for years.
I had the dish for the final and joked at the pregame that I wasn't bringing a cooler. That didn't stop them, they brought that bad boy out and put it down the first baseline, behind the coaches box...and yes, in the shade. I thought I had seen everything when the second base umpire, lit up a cigarette before the fourth inning. Since this was a Legion State Championship, I figured that these guys must be good and they were. But the food and cigarette breaks were beyond anything I had seen.
There, it's out there and I feel better. I still recommend keeping all of your gear out of play, at any level. It looks professional and if you are worried about water safety, it makes sense. Finally, this "Big Dog" as HHH put it, learned a long time ago, drink from the same cooler as the team. The king had a taster for a reason!
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