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It's got to be a 1-on-1 discussion. In a men's game a while ago, I made a ruling that was contrary to what somebody had ruled earlier in the day - don't we just love cleaning up a mess created by "myth masters"? - the head coach, his assistant, and several defensive players started moving toward me. I put up a hand and said "Gentlemen, I will speak with the captain or the heasd coach only." That ended that potential gang-bang.
I've also had partners who didn't realize that they should not allow themselves to be approached that way. I've entered the discussion by stating something like this "The conversation with my partner must be a 1-on-1 discussion. As you are the head coach, you will send everyone else away before this conversation continues. If you choose not to, the conversation is over and I will handle what needs to be handled."
I'm of the opinion that an umpire with a "command presence" does not often get charged, have coaches confront & yell, and so on. When it does happen, we recognize it & handle it.
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Steve M
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