[LaxRef]

Here are my answers. I’ve responded to comments from several different groups in the same post, so don’t be surprised if I respond to a comment you don’t recall reading here.

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1. After a goal is scored against him, the goalie turns and punches the goal.

This happened in a middle school game, so I gave it an unsportsmanlike. For a HS or college game, I’d probably give it a dead ball conduct foul (for which the penalty would be awarding the ball to the other team with no faceoff and no time served). I tend to be a little strict, though, on reining in such behavior, so it doesn’t surprise me that some people said “no call” or “warning.”

2. After fouling out of the game, a player takes off his helmet in the penalty box and slams it into the ground.

Pretty much anytime the player going to the box throws his equipment he’s getting a 1:00 USC from me. He’s essentially complaining about the call while trying to make himself the center of attention.

3. There is a clear push from behind (the pushing player is completely behind the player he pushes, and it knocks the opponent face-first into the ground). The player called for the push says “That was from the side!”

I’d let it go, but give him my patented stare-down with one hand on the flag. Even though it was clearly from behind, he probably thinks it was from the side. If he kept complaining, I’d give the conduct foul.

Don’t make the mistake of giving the “One more word and I’m throwing the flag” ultimatum, because then if the player (or coach) says, “I’m sorry, you’re right, I was out of line” you either throw the flag and look like an idiot or don’t throw it and back down on your threat.

4. Same as 3, but the player yelling about the call is a defenseman on the other side of midfield who was not involved in the play and was 30 yards away.

This happened recently, and I gave the kid the 0:30 conduct foul. If it had been one of those “part from the side, part from behind” pushes, I might have let it go, but in my opinion he was just trying to draw me into an argument. From his perspective, he could tell as well as I could that it was straight in the back.

5. A player scores a goal and throws his stick in the air in celebration.

This needs to be called *at least* illegal procedure, since you can never throw your stick, but I think 1:00 USC is the standard call for this.

6. The goalie pulls the goal down over his head to prevent a goal with 20 seconds left in the game to preserve a shutout.

There’s an A.R. that says this is USC and recommends 3:00 NR. However, I can’t figure out for the life of me why this isn’t flagrant misconduct and an ejection.

7. A player tells another player that he’s going to “kill him.”

At least 1:00 USC. I’d normally give 1:00 (taunting).

8. A player misses a shot or pass and yells the F-word.

Standard 1:00 USC for profanity.

9. A player misses a shot or pass and yells the S-word.

Standard 1:00 USC for profanity.

10. A player misses a shot or pass and yells “damn it!”

I’d probably let it go except maybe in a middle school game. They can say it on TV. . . .

11. A player blows out his knee and yells the F-word as he lies on the ground.

This is the injury exception to the profanity rule. It’s not in the book, but this is what they said in this years NCAA video.

12. A player whispers the F-word to himself after a goal is scored against his team, and no one hears it but you and the player.

If no one else hears it, you can let it go with a warning. If anyone else can hear it---even if it’s his own teammate--you’re supposed to call it.

13. Two players get locked up with each other behind the play, bumping into each other repeatedly without quite getting to the point of openly shoving each other or throwing punches.

I almost invariably give both of them 1:00 (or more) USC and send them off to settle them down. It’s not enough for an ejection. In any case, walk them off the field (don’t send them off together by themselves, since then one of them might mouth off and start a real fight).

14. The head coach yells “That’s a horrible call!”

Either a warning or a conduct foul. It’s not enough for a USC. A lot of officials let this go, but I usually clamp down on the complaining early. I’ll give more latitude for a complaint like “That was from the side!” In that case, I’ll explain that it wasn’t, or explain the rule quickly, or whatever is appropriate.

15. The head coach yells “How much are they paying you to call the game this way?”

I’d say at least 3:00 USC since they’re questioning your integrity as an official. Someone suggested expulsion, and I think that would be justifiable as well.

16. The assistant coach yells “That’s a horrible call!”

Conduct foul. As they told me when I started officiating, “Never take *any* crap from an assistant coach.”

17. The head coach takes a stick that has failed a stick check off the scorer’s table to measure it himself.

1:00 USC. They’re implicitly saying that you screwed it up. Note that we do NOT demonstrate the stick check to the coach or player *ever*. We report the foul and place the stick on the table; I always tell the table that the stick stays on the table until the end of the game and that no one is to touch the stick; if anyone does, they are to blow the horn twice at the next dead ball and call me over.

None of this applies to a deep pocket, which can be fixed.

18. A player bodychecks another player from behind and lands on him. Then, while kneeling on his back, deliberately cross-checks him in the back of the head.

I guess this was a bit of a trick question, since expulsion was not one of the options I listed, but this clearly meets the standard of flagrant misconduct. Expulsion and 3:00 NR penalty, plus the appropriate suspension.

19. A player tells another player he’s going to get him in the parking lot after the game.

In my mind, this is also flagrant misconduct and an expulsion. He is very specifically threatening the other player with bodily harm. One respondent gave #7 an expulsion and this one an USC, but I think this one is much more serious, since “I’m going to kill you” could be take figuratively.

20. A player tells another player “Your team sucks.”

Taunting. 1:00 USC

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As I said, for a lot of these there aren’t really “right” answers, but this is what I would do in these cases.