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Ed,
Take a pill and calm down, all will be OK.
I have called all age groups, both BB and SB, from 8 yr old to college level. It seems that most of the inane arguements come from the lower level age group coaches. You still have to call your game, your zone and ignore the fans comments.
As for coaches making a fool of themselves in front of the dugout, that is also gonna happen. Just be sure there aren't two fools arguing! Let the coach have his/her say, then answer concisely. If coach is questioning a judgement call, I will say something like "Coach, that is my judgement and we will not discuss that at all, this conversation is over, let's play ball". If coach still wants to argue, doesn't turn and go back to dugout, toss 'em!
You will have to realize also that as a new umpire, parents and coaches "smell you out" big time. They will try you from all different directions. Do not take it to a personal level, they feel that is the proper way to act on a ball field. You just gotta float along with it.
After some experience, you will get to where you kind of enjoy some of the junk they throw your way. I'll start a game with a familar coach and wonder, "what is he gonna argue this time". Last night, working 9/10 alone one team had Nomar Garciapara batting. The kid would get in the box, and dance around, lay the bat on the ground and such. Well he came up 2nd inning, stood in box, looked toward pitcher, pitch came in low hit kid in the foot. I sent him on to first and his coach comes out of dugout screaming "he gotta let my batter got time to got set". I asked him "do you want me to bring the batter back and let him hit again?" Coach said NO, I then told him "then shut up, and go back to your dugout" (had this guy before, wouldnt talk to all of the that sternly, but thats what he understands). He gave no more trouble the rest of the game.
The senior guys and gals in your group will have similar stories, run this stuff by them, and watch some of them in action. Remember always stay "cooler" than the one who is arguing, it gives you a HUGE edge. Study the rules, know them fully because some coaches have their own version, they will confuse you if you allow it. Mostly remember, anything new to you will take practice, umpiring is no different. Fan razzing, and coaches quibbling will always be part of the game, but as your experience grows, it will become less, and less a problem.
BTW, We have friends in Thomson we would like to visit, if ya'll have a FP tourney there and need extra blues, have you UIC get in touch with me & the mrs, I'd enjoy working a game or two with you.
Buddy
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