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A couple of points here (Speaking ASA)
Unless the BU goes out, they always have the tag on a catch UNLESS they communicate with their partner to deviate from the prescribed mechanic. We have all heard a similar phrase, "if you deviate, communicate". Not only is that acceptable, but it works.
The umpire with the tag-up responsibility should NEVER, NEVER be looking for the other umpire to make a signal, but at the ball for first contact. An umpire's signal has absolutely NO bearing on when a runner may leave the base.
Most often, the defense is going to look at the PU to make the appeal. If the call is not that of the PU, s/he should step out and repeat the appeal to his/her partner and allow them to make the call. It is not unusual in some cases for the PU to have this call along with the BU if the flight of the ball drew his/her line of vision with that of the runner on the base. When this is the case, the PU may assume responsibility for the call and not pass it off to the partner.
There are also times which getting the correct angle might be difficult. If the appeal goes to one umpire who may not be sure, a quick glance at the partner may help especially if s/he is standing there, tapping their chest with a finger as in, "give me the call, I've got it."
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The bat issue in softball is as much about liability, insurance and litigation as it is about competition, inflated egos and softball.
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